You get what you Negotiate – For women in the workplace, this means getting yourself some skills.

A spotlight has been on the inequity of pay between men and women for some time now….so it should be fixed now right? Shouldn’t it? Maybe not.

Research by the Australian Government, Workplace Gender equality Agency[1] shows that the gender pay gap has hovered between 14-19% for the last two decades and at February 2020 sits at 13.9% Those figures are for base salary, while total remuneration sees the gap widen to 20.8%.

Some companies have policies that ensure a level playing field is in place for men and women in salary packages and promotions. That’s great, but there is still change needed.

What about the subtle things? The extras that add to the salary to make up the ‘total remuneration’ package as well as other advantages. Some simple examples could be the male colleague who gets the better work station, the new laptop, the better phone, the more interesting projects to work on, the better accounts to manage. The statistics show the total remuneration package is, generally, better for men than women.

How does this still happen when you’re supposed to be equals and you do the same if not better-quality work? The answer is: he probably asks for it.

Sadly, you can’t expect a different personal outcome just because society acknowledges a problem. Life isn’t always fair. The things you get have to be asked for and often negotiated.

So, here’s the dilemma. Immediately there’s an image of small, starving Oliver Twist asking ‘Please sir, I want some more.’ The ensuing chaos and punishment teach us the danger of aspiring to more than you were given. Does this resonate with anyone? Is your pulse rate increasing, just slightly at the thought of trying to get a better deal for yourself than you currently have?

Most of us dislike confrontation since it implies a level of conflict that can be stressful and negative. Negotiating on your own behalf does not have to be confronting, nor should it be negative. In fact, it can be welcome and productive if it enables a decision and outcome to be achieved that works better for you and potentially for both parties. The key is having the skills and confidence to work the situation through.

First, you need to recognise your own value. If you doubt your own abilities and talents you won’t have the conviction to negotiate effectively on your own behalf. This is born out in the research[i] that shows women negotiate just as well as men when negotiating on behalf of others, but not themself.  Think about negotiation as simply a process of getting what both you and the other sides need. That goes a long way towards changing the mindset.

So, get yourself some skills. Effective negotiation is a learnt process and improves with practice. The foundation is preparation and knowing what you want. Once you have clarity on that, you can navigate the process of a negotiation to confidently arrive at a better outcome for all parties.

 Assertive is not aggressive.

This can be a tough one. There’s a fine line between assertive and aggressive and it’s imperative to understand that people have different sensitivities. One person being carefully assertive may be surprised to find the other person sees them as very aggressive and responds accordingly.

In our experience, the best negotiators are often initially mistaken as soft or passive. Note emphasis on ‘initially’. Being co-operative, seeking to understand the other side’s position and uncovering where there is flexibility is not soft. An analogy is water in a stream flowing over rocks. Where there is resistance the water seeks to flow around. Over time the obstacle may dissolve or get gently washed away. The water always seeks to flow forward. The negotiator cooperatively takes the other party with them on the journey to where they want to go.

Don’t gird your loins ready to do battle. You don’t need to be Joan of Arc. It didn’t end well for her. Just get well prepared with facts, questions, a clear objective and know where you can be flexible.

Regardless of gender, we all encounter difficult people at various times in our working life. Bullying in the workplace is now recognised and much has been written and put in place to deal with it. A subtler, but equally daunting personality type, is someone who patronises you or treats you dismissively. Is it deliberate or are they unconsciously applying a gender stereotype? As an example, years ago a female friend in a male dominated technical field was being excluded from the more challenging jobs. When she approached her manager about this, he was very open with her about not wanting to put her under too much stress. He was surprised that she wasn’t grateful for his gentlemanly consideration, but he agreed to treat her the same as her male colleagues. The barrier was removed, she flourished and advanced her career. Years later when she was in an operations management role she ran into her old boss. He opened the conversation with an apology about his previous attitude. It was something he had done unconsciously and since that time had been very careful to examine his attitude and treatment of females in his teams.

How you deal with these challenging situations is important. Applying negotiation skills to neutralise toxic behaviours can be successful and make a work environment more enjoyable. Critically, it can also remove obstacles to career advancement.

Negotiation is not the only way to get to a result you want, it is one of many. Problem solving and persuasion differ from negotiation and are also valid tools to apply to resolve an issue. Having a rich and varied tool kit of skills to use will give you confidence to achieve better outcomes.

If you are satisfied with your situation at work and happy with the package you receive that’s great.  But, if an opportunity presents to do better or you’d like to explore if there is flexibility to get more, maybe you should negotiate. It’s Ok if you don’t want to…but at least ensure that you provide yourself with the skills and confidence to make the choice.

 Written by Kath Murphy & Caroline Edwards-Chantry

Negotiation Partners Coaches

[i] Australian Government Workplace Gender Equality Agency WGEA Fact sheet February 2020

www.wgea.gov.au